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Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2012: How to become a Victoria's Secret Angel (PHOTOS)

So, you finally feel guilty for wearing a smelly fleece and indulging in day-old nachos while watching Tuesday’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Me, too. Fortunately, today’s a new day and a spot among the Victoria’s Secret Angels seems within reach. Just follow these five easy steps.

INVEST IN SOME WINGS

No, I'm not talking about the buffalo-flavored kind. Instead, I'm referring to the giant contraptions that hang from the shoulders of the hippest Victoria's Secret models every year.

Granted, wings are slightly more convenient on a runway than in real life. Let's just say I haven't entirely recovered from the awkwardness that came with dressing as a dark fairy one Halloween. Still, wings are an essential component of every angel. And if that's not a strong enough sell, consider this: Stand the right way and you're ensured a few inches of personal space.

Credit: John Paul Filo/CBS

Credit: Jeffrey R. Staab/CBS

ABANDON TRADITIONAL LOGIC

The lingerie is great...but does anybody really wear it to bed? Under their clothes at work? While watching "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo"? Plus, who wears a $2 million bra? And if you have $2 million, should you really spend it on a single bra? If you refuse to ponder these questions, congratulations. You're one step closer to becoming a Victoria's Secret Angel.

Credit: John Paul Filo/CBS

Credit: Jeffrey R. Staab/CBS

BECOME A BELIEBER

Sorry, it's a necessary evil.

BREAK A SWEAT

Sadly, this requires more than the humiliation that comes with a mall bra fitting. All sorts of debates surround the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, but even detractors might agree it's a good workout motivator. Don't know where to start? Check out this list of "the best abs exercises of all time."

Credit: John Paul Filo/CBS

Credit: Jeffrey R. Staab/CBS

REMEMBER, HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH

Maybe Victoria's Secret Angels occupy a universe of their own. That's OK. Forget about the elaborate wings and fancy bras. Abandon the unrealistic body expectations and instead take less tangible lessons from the fashion show: confidence, and the ability to regard the world as your personal runway. My life already feels a little more heavenly. So much, in fact, that I'm ready to admit I didn't really wear a fleece while eating nachos during the show. I wore flannel pajamas. And ate 3-day-old casserole.

Strike a pose, Bombshell.

Credit: Jeffrey R. Staab/CBS

Credit: Jeffrey R. Staab/CBS

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