Millennials and Gen Z are ‘Gentle Parenting' Their Dogs-It's a Problem

Millennials are redefining what it means to own a dog, with a growing shift towards so-called "gentle parenting" changing how pets are treated both at home and in public life.

Where previous generations often saw dogs as outdoor animals or companions with clear boundaries and hierarchies, many millennials now view them as full members of the family. That shift has led to dogs being woven into everyday routines in ways that would have seemed unusual only a few decades ago.

"Dogs are no longer pets kept in the yard, left at home, or occasional companions," Chris Edge, founder of K9Edge Dog Training, told Newsweek. "Dogs sleep in beds, go to daycare, spas. And playcenters. They come shopping, travel with us, and neighborhoods are being developed with as many dog parks as playgrounds."

Changing lifestyles have helped accelerate this cultural shift. Remote working, which surged during COVID -19 lockdowns, meant many people spent more time at home-and, in turn, more people chose to adopt dogs. The result has been a generation of pets more closely bonded to their owners than ever before.

For Abigail Beek, a 27-year-old dog owner from Austin, Texas, that bond is central to how she lives with her two pit bull mix dogs, Harvey and Azula.

"My life with my dogs is dedicated to living side by side vs me trying to ‘dominate' them or show them who's boss. I chose to bring a dog into my home, they didn't choose me. So I view my life with my dogs as doing everything I can to give my dogs a life they love, while minimizing stress when possible," she told Newsweek.

Working from home full-time allows Beek to spend most of her day with her dogs, who are rarely left alone. "I do get to spend a lot of time doing things with them!" she said. Her daily routine centers around their care, from long morning walks or hikes to individual training sessions, playtime and evening walks.

This approach is often described as "gentle parenting,” borrowing from child-rearing philosophies that prioritize empathy, communication and positive reinforcement over punishment.

Experts say this move away from harsher training methods is, in many ways, a positive development. Carolyn Menteith, a dog behaviorist at Tails.com, points to the closer integration of dogs into family life as a significant cultural change.

"We live with dogs as part of our families in a way we never have before-and who says that our family members are restricted to the two-legged variety?" she told Newsweek.

She also highlights the rise of dog-focused households, particularly among younger adults. "We are now seeing the rise of the DINKWADs (Dual Income No Kids With A Dog) and most of these are from the 25-34 year old age group," she said.

Falling birth rates and shifting priorities have played a role in this trend, with many millennials choosing to invest their time, finances and emotional energy into pets instead of children. A 2024 study found that around 43 percent of Americans preferred pets over children, with many Gen Z and millennial respondents citing lower costs and fewer responsibilities.

The emotional connection is often profound. Research suggests that 63 percent of pet owners would be willing to give up some of their own years to extend their pet's life. For those without children, dogs can take on an especially important role in daily life.

"I love my dogs so much, and I don't have any kids of my own, so I definitely spend multiple hours a day taking care of my dog," Beek says.

However, while experts welcome stronger human–dog relationships, they warn that balance is essential. Menteith cautions against blurring the line between human and animal needs.

"Dogs can't replace children any more than children can replace dogs!" she said. "Unfortunately, we often treat dogs like children. They are not small people in fur coats-they are a totally different species with their own needs and behaviors."

Edge echoes that concern, particularly when it comes to structure and boundaries. "Force free does not mean boundary free," he said. "Many of the dogs I work with are emotionally over supported but behaviorally underprepared."

He argues that the constant companionship that came with pandemic-era lifestyles has had lasting consequences. "Dogs had continuous access to people, stimulation, and interaction. When the world suddenly normalized again many dogs had absolutely no framework for separation, downtime, or self regulation," Edge said.

As a result, some behaviors now being flagged as problems may actually stem from overstimulation and a lack of rest. "Many dogs grew up with constant noise, constant engagement… and very little true decompression," Edge said. "Many dogs today are exhausted neurologically."

At the same time, a wider "dog culture" has taken hold, with businesses increasingly catering to pet owners. From cafés and restaurants to cinemas, more spaces now welcome dogs, reinforcing the idea that they should be included in all aspects of life.

Even so, experts stress that inclusion should not come at the expense of a dog's natural needs. "Most of the things that people think of as being dog behavior problems aren't problems at all-they are just a dog behaving like a dog," Menteith said.

Despite the concerns, many owners believe they are striking the right balance. "More people are realizing you can have a spoiled dog that is well trained-it doesn't have to be either or!" Beek said.

As dog ownership continues to evolve, experts say the challenge now is finding that middle ground-combining compassion with clear boundaries so that dogs are not only loved, but also equipped to thrive in a human-led world.

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This story was originally published June 6, 2026 at 6:30 AM.