Lessons learned in being a mother

Our daughter is 3 years old today, and my husband and I are three years parents.

So much of this journey requires learning on the job, and with each year come new phases that ask for a different set of skills.

Even during the pregnancy, I remembered feeling like I might not have the stamina to make it to delivery, let alone be a first-time mom. But here we are, by God’s grace, with a very special 3-year-old.

I’d like to take the time to reflect on the top three lessons Aria has taught me since she joined our family.

1. Pace yourself

Motherhood is the ultimate marathon. You make it through the nausea, the weight gain, the exhaustion, and if you’re high risk, the extra medical hoops to jump through.

And when that’s over, you are all the more sleepless, emotional and anxious — though you’re also head over heels in love with a new baby. While some things normalize (sleeping, routines, etc.), there is always something new and unprecedented to deal with. Motherhood is always a full-time job, even as the day-to-day duties change.

For these reasons, I’ve learned I have to pace myself to avoid meltdowns and burnouts. I try to set reasonable goals, both as a mom and in my personal pursuits.

If I am unable to complete something I set out to complete, I have grace for myself (and hope those affected have grace for me, too).

I know now that all of these moments are fleeting. Our new baby is growing even faster than the first one did! And while I may have more time for my projects and career goals when our daughter is a full-time schoolgoer, I won’t have more time to enjoy my daughter as a toddler.

It will all get done. If it’s worthwhile, it always does. Just take your time and know your limits.

2. Humble yourself

You will get dirty. You will have baby poop and/or pee on your hands, clothes, bedsheets and God knows where else at some point.

You will wipe a lot of snotty noses. You will miss out on opportunities. You will be late for important meetings. You will have bags under your eyes and dirt under your nails. You may not cry in movies, but you will cry when you watch your kid sing in the preschool Christmas pageant.

For all you think you are, you will be more. Your normal will be new and your life will be all the better for it.

3. Prepare to be amazed

As big a role as I still have in my daughter’s world, she regularly shows me that she is her own awesome being.

Maybe nine times out of 10, I can accurately predict how she will respond to a given situation. But that 10th time she does something so cool or innovative or witty (yes!) that I can only shake my head in disbelief.

I love this ride, and I am so lucky to be her mom. Happy birthday, Aria!

Natalia Naman Temesgen is an independent contractor. Contact her at nntemesgen@gmail.com.

This story was originally published April 1, 2016 at 2:52 PM with the headline "Lessons learned in being a mother."