Looking for something to do this weekend?

Our fearless trio returns to help you through the weekend

Pickin' cotton in Gay, Ga.

For weeks, folks have been questioning my sexual preference in the comment section of the weekend picks. Never mind that it's none of their business. Never mind that gay bashing is retarded. Never mind that I'm happily married — to a woman. Their comments apparently are based on my, er, "pretty" hair in a four-year-old photo.

I say they're jealous. And because of them, I'm coming out this weekend. Coming out to Gay, Ga., that is, where the small farm town throws its annual Cotton Pickin' Fair from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. It's a kid-friendly old-fashioned fall festival, with rides, games, creepy clowns and all sorts of stuff to do. It's five bucks to get in ($3 for ages 4-12). Details: www.cpfair.org.

Other picks:

• Misfortune 500, one of the most promising alternative acts to hail from Columbus, plays a show at the SoHo Bar & Grill on Friday. They perform with Slow Motion Crash, starting around 10 p.m. Cover is $5. 706-568-3316.

• Sunday, my dogs are getting some religion. There'll be blessing of the pets at 4 p.m. at Trinity Episcopal, 1130 First Ave., and at 5 p.m. at St. Thomas Episcopal, 2100 Hilton Ave. Dogs must be leashed. I thought all dogs went to heaven anyway, but maybe I can lobby for the reverend to send their fleas to hell.

Brad Barnes

Craving whiskey and oxygen

There's no better time to catch a glimpse of the objects formally known as sculptures downtown.

You can admire — or criticize — their, um, uniqueness while enjoying two quality Friday night activities on Broadway.

Start the nigh

t by enjoying the kick-off to the Uptown Concert Series. Local bands Whisky Bent and the Neal Lucas Trio will play. If you hate the music, you can spend the night wondering what happened to the "e" in Whisky Bent's name.

The show is 7-10 p.m. on the 1100 block of Broadway. Bring blankets or lawn chairs. It's free.

After that, head to the First Friday Bar Crawl. One cover charge gets you into nine downtown bars. The event is also a toy drive for Santa's Castle, and you can waive the cover charge by bringing a new, unwrapped toy.

Altruism points and cage dancing — life doesn't get much better.

Don't get too carried away in Oxygen's cage, though. The Tuskegee-Morehouse Classic Parade is Saturday at 9 a.m. It starts at 13th Street and Broad in Phenix City and ends at Broadway and Ninth in Columbus.

I'll be one of the bystanders regretting a decision to abandon grade-school marching band days.

Sonya Sorich

A weekend in the wayback machine This weekend, cast aside thoughts of present-day dilemmas and turn your eyes to a simpler time. Yes, a time when race relations were so strained and people hated each other so much because of the color of their skin that the Supreme Court ultimately got involved. Naturally, what I’m referring to is the Big Read – a program urging locals to read “To Kill a Mockingbird,” the age-old classic we were supposed to read in elementary school but didn’t and cribbed the notes on it from the smart kid instead. Now you’ve got the chance to go back and do right with the movie’s airing at 6:30 p.m. Friday outside of the Columbus Public Library on Macon Road. On Saturday, relish the good life at the Cotton Pickin’ Fair in Gay, Ga. Fancifully dance amongst the musical performances whilst clowns prance around children getting their face painted. The fair is 50 miles north of Columbus on Ga. 85. Finally, wrap up your wayback weekend with a visit to the Party City at Columbus Park Crossing. It’s not too early to start thinking about your unique Halloween costume, and this is the place to do it. I’m going as a Supreme Court Justice.

Alan Riquelmy