Honestly, the week following the "American Idol" season finale almost landed me in rehab. Initially, I stared at the TV blankly, with my eyes glazed over and my mind desperate for its fix of questionable talent and incoherent criticism.
Thankfully, I'm better now.
That's because I've found summer's new crop of reality TV shows. Sure, they slightly lack the widespread commercial appeal of "Idol," but you'll nonetheless find a train-wreck appeal strong enough to feed your habit.
Consider tonight's TV schedule.
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First, there's "So You Think You Can Dance" (8 p.m., FOX). Don't let the title fool you — this guilty pleasure is a little bit "Dancing with the Stars," a little bit "American Idol" and a little bit "Jerry Springer Show." (But not the real Jerry Springer. He's on "America's Got Talent." On Wednesdays.) Anyway, "So You Think You Can Dance" is still in its preliminary rounds, and tonight the remaining contenders hit Vegas in hopes of being named a finalist. Dancers include a chick with a prosthetic arm, the sister of last year's winner and a guy who's allegedly been hiccuping for seven years. Let the games begin.
Not into fancy footwork? Check out "The Next Big Thing" (8 p.m., ABC). This show is all about finding "the greatest celebrity impersonator." Because I have no life, I actually watched the premiere episode last week, when contestants impersonated everyone from Bill Cosby to Dolly Parton. Let's just say the show is one Cher impersonation away from a weekend in Vegas.
Finally, the night wraps up with "American Inventor" (9 p.m., ABC), the search for America's best inventor. With luck, this season's winner will invent a cure for a bad case of reality TV withdrawal.