Tim Chitwood: Dreaming of a whitewater Christmas

With those holiday greetings and gay happy meetings when friends come to call, it’s Monday Mail.

Piece on earth

Here's a message about our whitewater course:

Dear Mr. Chitwood,

The whitewater project is an awesome project of which I am a complete fan.

Something though frustrates me to no end by our 'city patricians' and this government funded river 'restoration.' The primary beneficiaries have been, what seems, to be lying. Specifically, the tentative finished schedule is summer 2013. That's not possible. Georgia Power has yet to build the weir above City Mills dam -- has yet to even begin. Which means City Mills dam cannot be breached until so. And at the pace things are going, and as they have been, we will be lucky if these fine folks are done by late 2014. So, I cringe whenever I read 'news' about the project.

And what about this thing being a monopoly of the dam's owner, bought by the government? That itself is fine question. Maybe I am wrong, but this whole thing is a government-financed monopoly.

Monopoly. It's a fine word. And a fine game.

Take Care,

Riveratus LaCroix.

Dear Riveratus:

The overseers tell me they'll breach the City Mills dam and start on the "weir" or smaller dam above it in January.

Saying "summer 2013" gives them until September to finish, you know.

Whether we can play Monopoly in the river depends on how well they clear the trash out -- all the old irons, boots, wheelbarrows, thimbles and other Monopoly pieces.

More eggnog?

Be moderate this holiday season, lest ye sacrifice to regain thy modest girth:

Good morning,

This week on iVillage, one of the largest online communities for women, you'll find some of Dr. Oz's best tips and advice. In honor of Dr. Oz, we surveyed the women of the iVillage community about their health -- and got some interesting findings:

Weight is their chief health worry, and in this mobile-obsessed age, three-fourths of women said they'd trade their cell phone, two full years of sex or their wedding/engagement rings to be their ideal weight -- with one exception: Moms would never trade their cell phone, even to fit into those skinny jeans.

When asked which TV doctor they would most want as their real doctor, George Clooney's "Dr. Ross" character (ER) clearly had lasting impact, beating out newer TV doctors "McDreamy" and "McSteamy" (from Grey's Anatomy).

Thank you,

Maryellen Mooney, iVillage.

Dear Maryellen:

Ask if they'd still be celibate for two years were George Clooney their doctor.

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.