Dimon Kendrick-Holmes: The very worst birthday

The very

worst

birthday

I recently had a birthday, and it was a happy one. That's because I wasn't turning 30.

Turning 30 was terrible. I don't know if this is a universal truth, or if it just applies to me. If it was true for you too, let me know and we can commiserate. If it was a bright point in your life, well, I don't want to hear about it.

Which brings me to two women in our newsroom who recently turned 30. For the past year, I've been preparing them for the worst moment of their young lives. One of them made a bucket list and went to Disney World, the Super Bowl and on a cruise to the islands. The other just returned from Las Vegas.

I don't want to hear about it.

I turned 30 in Clarksville, Tenn. Bess and I were unpacking from our eighth move in seven years. We had a toddler and another child on the way, and I was starting a new job and trying out a new career.

I remember sitting in the backyard in the dark. We'd finished eating cake and opening presents with our new neighbors. It was weird celebrating a special occasion with somebody we'd just met, but it was something we'd learned to do in the Army.

The neighbors had gone home and Bess was inside unpacking more boxes. It was a Tuesday. It was nothing special. I sat there and drank a beer and even in the dark I could tell the grass needed mowing, and I realized I didn't even own a lawn mower.

Then I realized I was 30 years old.

Then I realized that turning 30 stinks.

I won't tell you how old I turned last week, but I will say that I share a birthday with my youngest child and we're now a combined 60. And he's now a teenager. You do the math.

Like I said, it was a happy birthday, even though we didn't go to Vegas or the Bahamas.

Actually, we made Cuban sandwiches.

My son Joe will probably become a chef. When he was 4 years old, we were eating tuna casserole and he turned to his mother and said, "Sometimes I wish my mom was Paula Deen. No offense."

Some offense was taken, I assure you.

On our birthday, Joe was supposed to go to school and get an award for perfect attendance, but he had an ear infection so he stayed home.

I took the day off and we put a Boston butt on the smoker and went to the movies. We saw "Avengers: Age of Ultron," which wouldn't have been my first choice, but seeing a movie you don't love with someone you love is better than seeing a movie you love with someone you don't love. I think there's a Proverb about that.

Anyway, we came home and made Cuban sandwiches with the pork and then the rest of the family got home and we had a party.

It was a happy birthday. You know, because I wasn't turning 30.

Dimon Kendrick-Holmes, executive editor, dkholmeshirts@ledger-enquirer.com

This story was originally published May 29, 2015 at 10:44 PM with the headline "Dimon Kendrick-Holmes: The very worst birthday."