Inquirer: The trash must be taken out, even when Mike is off

Yep, this indeed is the Inquirer column. Nope, this definitely isn’t the Inquirer columnist.

Mike Owen was on vacation last week. I pinch-hit for him.

Among his many fine qualities, Mike is mighty thoughtful, and he set me up for success with some “low-hanging fruit,” as he put it. Turns out, it was high-piled trash.

He didn’t leave me any of his witty one-liners, but Mike did forward an email from a Concerned Reader in Mohina Woods, who alerted us about a “major trash problem” in front of a house on Norris Circle.

So I drove out there to do some intrepid Inquirer investigating.

As the first photo shows, the Concerned Reader wasn’t full of rubbish. The loose trash was mailbox-high along the curb and stretched the width of the front yard. Two recliners exquisitely were perched atop this dump like a work of modern art.

“Not sure why it has not been picked up by the city,” the Concerned Reader wrote. “Maybe the fact it’s not in any type containers or bags.”

Maybe.

I called the Concerned Reader on Tuesday to get more info. He came across the problem about 10 days before our conversation, so that house must have had at least one trash pickup day since then, even with the July 4 holiday.

“It’s a total mess,” he said. “It’s got to be a health hazard. It’s an eyesore at the very least.”

Armed with facts and motivation, I called Pat Biegler, director of public works for the Columbus Consolidated Government. As the Loyal Readers know, Pat is a regular Inquirer hero – friendly, fast and effective. And this past week was no different.

Less than 24 hours later, she emailed me with a full report. The city had no record of any complaint about the trash problem, but there had been a request to cut the overgrown weeds, uh, I mean grass.

“We’re working that through our rather drawn out process with warnings, registered letters, etc.,” Pat wrote.

The trouble is, the house is vacant, the out-of- town landlord hasn’t responded to the registered letter the city sent as a 10-day notice to comply, and the letter was returned to sender, she said.

“Once that happens, we can legally contract out the work and file a lien on the property,” Pat explained. “We can’t issue a citation if we can’t find the owner.”

Anyway, back to the trash problem.

“Since loose trash can blow around and leave a mess, I’ve asked my Community Service folks to go and get the area cleaned up,” Pat wrote. “They are the group that picks up litter on our roadways. They follow regular routes, and also do special pickups.”

This case certainly seems to qualify as special.

The city's regular garbage crews don't pick up loose trash because an ordinance requires it to be bagged or in a container, Pat said. Stopping to pick up scattered pieces would keep the routes from being finished on time, she said. That's why they rely on good citizens such as the Concerned Reader to speak up.

The next day, Thursday, an email from Les Moore, the city’s waste collection division manager, promised, “This pile of debris on the city right of way is being picked up in the next few minutes.”

As you can see from the second photo, the city’s crew came through beautifully. Although the Concerned Reader wondered aloud why he was the only neighbor to officially complain about the problem, he said, “It’s great that it’s cleaned up. I appreciate them doing that. I guess it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.”

Sure, the property still won’t be featured in Better Homes and Gardens, but at least it’s now prettier than Mike’s cousin Earl.

And, sure, this edition of the Inquirer wasn’t as choke-on-your-grits funny as usual, but at least it produced another happy ending as we do our part to make this part of the world a better place.

Seen something that needs to be fixed, other than a promiscuous cat? Holler at Mike Owen, the real Inquirer, 706-571-8570, mowen@ledger-enquirer.com.

This story was originally published July 17, 2016 at 1:34 PM with the headline "Inquirer: The trash must be taken out, even when Mike is off."