Richard Hyatt: Teaching an old dog new tricks

Wait a minute. Before you ask me to say, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," I am compelled to warn you that I'm attached to a large IV pole and I know how to use it.

Even an EMT in the ambulance on the way to St. Francis Hospital on Sunday asked me to repeat that phrase so he could judge my mental dexterity. And, well, he should.

For over a weekend, I don't recall leaving sentences unfinished and words unsaid.

I lost reality and tumbled through the "Looking Glass" into a place I don't want to go again.

My head ached. I slept and slept some more.

My wife watched me shuffle up the hall and bounce off the walls and called 911.

I assumed this was the way a person feels when they're having a stroke.

Everyone was in focus but me.

My temperature was 102 degrees.

While I lay on a gurney, a doctor asked questions and I tried to answer.

She ordered X-rays and a potent dose of antibiotics.

"And can you say: You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

When the drugs kicked in and my temperature went down, the fog lifted.

Tests began to rule out a stroke and someone explained that when your body is being attacked by an infection, it reacts in strange ways.

"Goofy," a trained medical professional said.

And so I was.

As my fears lessened, I reverted back to my calling.

In the circus that is the ER, I watched nurses show admirable restraint dealing with a shrill, overwrought woman who was only a curtain away.

Jerking her IV out of the plug, she was a few feet away when she yelled, "I need a man."

I didn't know when I might get into a room.

I hadn't eaten for two days and I was hungry.

A nurse delivered a turkey sandwich and didn't send me a bill.

An MRI was scheduled. I told the technician of a bad experience I had years ago and that I didn't know if I could complete the test.

"Would it help if I stayed in there with you and held your hand?"

She did, too.

Ten o'clock Monday night, a neurologist I had not met dropped by my room and shared the results of my tests in language a layman could understand.

Seeing a caring committed group such as the members of St. Francis staff do their jobs at a time the administration is under siege is refreshing.

Someone lost $30 million, but the workers haven't lost their heart.

They made me laugh when I was scared and reminded me how blessed I am.

Antibiotics will defeat my infection and life will go on.

Proving once again that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

-- Richard Hyatt is an independent correspondent. Reach him at hyatt31906@knology.net.

This story was originally published March 3, 2015 at 10:21 PM with the headline "Richard Hyatt: Teaching an old dog new tricks."