Tim Chitwood

Weiner probe leaves blemish, stain

Pine Mountain Trail Association volunteers work on the now-completed map kiosk on the trail’s eastern end.
Pine Mountain Trail Association volunteers work on the now-completed map kiosk on the trail’s eastern end. Photo by PMTA

All the Federales say it’s Monday Mail.

Feds

Today’s opening is from “Pancho and Lefty” as performed by Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard, whom I heard on the radio while leaving the Steeplechase on Saturday.

FBI

In the email is this message regarding last Monday’s column on how the election needs to end before we run out of jokes about Anthony Weiner and his sexting scandal’s reopening the FBI investigation into Hillary Clinton’s email server. Reader John R. Bomar suggests some headlines:

“Creepy Weiner case erupts causing Clinton embarrassment — fatally stain her campaign”

“Weiner’s hard drive thrusts Clinton into unflattering national spotlight”

“Weiner arises to haunt Clinton campaign on eve of Halloween”

“Clinton Huma-iliated by Weiner probe”

“Republicans now piling on following Clinton-Weiner link”

“Democrats defend Clinton, depicting Weiner matter as ‘unkosher’”

“For Democrats, renewed attention to Weiner is ‘Like an 18 wheeler smacking us in the face’”

“Sexual text to 15-year-old threatens both Clinton and personal advisor’s exxx.

“It won’t stand up! Insists Clinton to allegations surrounding Weiner probe”

“Gathering momentum shoves Weiner into final days of Clinton campaign”

“Judge must sign new order opening Weiner’s private affairs, investigators feel obligated to look”

“Clinton projecting confidence that Weiner contact has ‘not knocked her off her stride’”

“Not panicking, Clinton seeks to tamp down Weiner furor.”

Dear John:

I tried to come up with something using “Weiner probe,” but I couldn’t figure out how to end it. Apparently no one can figure out how to end this, so maybe that’s typical.

Acne

Speaking of ongoing inquiries, here’s one about our website:

Tim,

Why does an ad featuring a pimple about to be popped appear below your column on my phone?

Regards,

Dannie.

Dear Dannie:

That’s the icon we use to indicate a public figure’s record is about to be blemished.

Rest room

Here’s a follow-up to an Oct. 2 Monday Mail about possibly putting a toilet somewhere near the eastern end of the Pine Mountain Trail off Georgia Highway 85. This reply is from a representative of the Pine Mountain Trail Association, which just built a map kiosk at that trail access point:

You asked if we had considered putting a restroom near the WJSP-TV Tower/PMT Mile 23 trailhead. Actually I did think about it. Only thing is we (PMTA) could fund it, but it would have to be likely built by an approved Georgia Department of Natural Resources contractor to Americans with Disabilities Act specs (handicap access). I thought about it being one of the new compost type ones, but even they are pricy. We will likely leave that to the Georgia Parks folks to build. But thanks for suggestion, and if a bathroom does get built I’ll suggest that it be named “Tim’s Toilet” just for you. Has a nice ring to it. That’s “bearly” a good idea huh? In the meaner ee time we will keep telling folks if they ask where are the bathrooms, that “Boy trees to the left of trail and Girl trees to right.” Girl trees are easily found, they are the ones with little wads of toilet paper near them!

On a serious note, thanks for article about our new kiosk. We hope hikers will review the large map, read about hiking info of the loops, and safety info. As noted it was paid for by many from their contributions in memory of D. Neal Wickham.

Jim Hall.

Dear Jim:

With a roadside picnic area there, a handicapped-access toilet would be better. I see those a lot at trailheads out West, and they’re quite accommodating.

Some confusion might arise if you named both the women’s and men’s rooms Tim’s Toilet. Perhaps the women’s room should be Tammy’s or Tina’s or Tara’s Toilet.

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