Turning Standing Boy into Alpine World

Just think: Those folks who live off Old River Road near Standing Boy Creek State Park could have their own Helen, Ga., right in their backyard.

That’s what the state parks consultant who drew up the master plan for developing the park said its hilly topography is akin to: the north Georgia mountains around Helen, Ga.

So it has a lot of possibilities. Most of which he included in his plan. Including an “alpine slide.”

When he mentioned the “alpine slide” Thursday at a public meeting on the park, Standing Boy didn’t just seem steep like Helen, Ga. It began to look and sound like Helen, Ga.

I’ve never been on an “alpine slide,” but I have been to Helen, Ga., and the only thing in Columbus that ought to look like Helen, Ga., is a carnival that packs up and leaves after a week on the South Commons.

The Jordan Company gave the state the land for Standing Boy back in 2000, for the stated purpose of a park. After public meetings to discuss its use, state authorities decided first to operate it as a wildlife management area, with seasonal deer bow hunting by permit.

Otherwise the undeveloped land was open to the public. I first went there to hike, then to ride horseback. Others ride bikes, or run, or bird watch, or fish.

The two groups that we know are pushing for more development now are mountain bikers and disc golfers. The bikers want trails. The golfers want a course. So far no one has come out against bike trails or disc golf, as long as the impact is limited to the added necessities: a paved road, parking, restrooms, shelters, etc.

The state said it can’t build and maintain such facilities without on-site income to cover costs. Rental properties are needed: an RV park and cottages – which require roads built to accommodate RVs, plus electricity, treated water and a sewage system.

That is not low impact. And the neighbors do not appreciate the state’s building a trailer park next door. But maybe that would be OK, were that all.

It is not, the state said. So its consultant added a few more amenities, which he presented Thursday in the packed community room of the city service center off Macon Road, where suddenly we were off to Alpine World.

Here is the master list from the master plan:

A main entrance with a visitor center and staff housing and parking; an archery range with seven shooting lanes plus restrooms, amenities and overflow parking; a 3½ to 4 acre dog park; a 6½ to 7 acre “large event lawn”; a “large event pavilion” with parking and a capacity for 200 to 300 visitors; a “small event lawn”; a splash pad and playground; bus parking for a nature trail; yurts, treehouses and 12 cottages; boat launch; fishing pier; an “adventure area” with the disc golf course residents actually asked for, plus ziplines, overnight facilities, restrooms, first aid and staff buildings; 10 miles of hiking trails, and 20 miles of mountain bike trails – the other thing people here actually asked for.

Plus the alpine slide. Don’t forget the alpine slide.

“That sounds pretty insane,” a park neighbor said when the consultant mentioned that.

What’s crazy is that no one asked for all this at the last public meeting, when most folks pushed for bike trails, the second most for disc golf, and the third most for leaving the park undeveloped.

And yet, despite widespread agreement on bike trails and disc golf and other modest uses, the state still insists on Alpine World. “Helen High Water,” we could call this theme park on Lake Oliver.

People who haven’t seen the plan can find it at gastateparks.org, where through a link they can send comments or questions to State Parks & Historic Sites Division Director Becky Kelley.

This story was originally published February 26, 2017 at 6:41 PM with the headline "Turning Standing Boy into Alpine World."