Tim Chitwood

Monday Mail: Blue jeans dropped from House floor

No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the Legislature is in session, and it's Monday Mail.

Capitol punishment

Well, we hear the Georgia General Assembly today reassembles under the Gold Dome, and eventually gets down to business, after all the swearing in.

During such august assemblies, certain customs and protocols must be observed, as we are reminded here by the House staff:

Members of the press,

With the 2016 legislative session beginning on Monday, January 11, some friendly and important reminders.

House floor reminders:

* Professional dress is required; no denim.

* No tripods on the House floor.

* Interviews cannot be conducted on the House floor.

* Do not walk down the center aisle.

You know,

I don't recommend walking down the center aisle of anything, particularly a wedding, but what's with the denim? Is this a cotton state or what? Is all our denim coming from communist China now?

As a Southerner, I object to this denigration of a fine American fabric employed in the production of durable pants such as Levi's. It's class warfare, is what it is. And it's hitting below the waist, too, so that's not right either.

Objectified lights

I don't know how many times I have to tell you people to go outside and fail to identify some flying objects so we can get cited in the newsletter I get from the National UFO Center. This guy in Pinson, Ala., saw one:

On Jan, 1, I was taking the dog out at 7:19 p.m, and noticed an inverted triangle in the southern sky, 25 degrees above the horizon towards Birmingham. The lights were much larger and brighter than any stars. The color of each light was also different from a star, either a yellow/orange or orange. The triangle formation was rotating clockwise with the left light moving further away. Three lights moved VERY slowly east, with all corners staying at a consistent distance.

See?

If some guy just north of Birmingham can see a strange light in the sky and have no idea what the hell it is, so can you.

Seasons greetings

Here's an email regarding last week's column in which a reader confused the equinox with the solstice while noting I neglected last year to cite the arrival of winter:

See, if you'd written the column I wouldn't have confused the two.

rjm

Dear rjm:

Well, let's see what's coming up next.

It's Jan. 11, so Groundhog Day is only about three weeks away. Again. And that will mark the bleak midwinter, so we can look forward to that.

Don't drive angry.

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.

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