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The crime journal logs a thief’s crimes, cops say. Missouri police got the last entry

These (not so) smooth criminals should stick to their day jobs

Sometimes the “perfect crime” doesn't quite play out as intended. Here are some criminals who could use some practice.
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Sometimes the “perfect crime” doesn't quite play out as intended. Here are some criminals who could use some practice.

Line by line on a sheet of ruled paper, a “serial thief” took note of his crimes, the Ballwin Police Department posted to Facebook.

On Dec. 22, 2018, for example, the handwritten crime journal was updated: “6 * 750ml of Grey Goose ($100).”

Then, the next day, the journal was updated again: “5 * 750ml of Grey Goose ($78) / 1 1/2 Gallon of Grey Goose ($30) / 2 - 770ml of Gentleman’s Jack ($30).” Off to the side, the writer totaled the day at a value of $138.

On some dates, the “serial thief” would just write N/A (not applicable). Other days, the thief wrote that it was an “off day,” according to the photo posted to Facebook.

All of the crimes listed involved alcohol.

“Officers responded to numerous reports of stolen alcohol from businesses in Ballwin,” police wrote on Facebook.

On Feb. 6, “the suspect was located and arrested after officers observed him and his backpack full of alcohol clanging down the sidewalk,” the post says.

That suspect, police said, was “identified as the serial thief ... who keeps a journal of his crimes.”

The alleged thief didn’t get to complete his journal. When police arrested him, there were at least five blank lines, the photo shows.

“ ... so we filled it in for him,” police said.

The department used computer type to create a Feb. 6 entry:

“ARRESTED,” it says it big, bright red font.

“Muahahahaha,” it says in a smaller, black type.

The suspect was not identified by police.

When naked criminals tangle with the law, things get a bit blurry.

Kaitlyn Alanis is based out of Kansas and reports on news from across the Midwest region. She has been at The Wichita Eagle since 2017.
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