The balance between discipline and love

“Everyone on the line.” It was time for sprints, but only half the team moved. The other half remained chatting at the water cooler.

I repeated myself, “Everyone on the line.” Slowly the stragglers made their way to the line. I was perturbed.

When the entire team finally was toeing the line, I began a lecture that sounded a little something like this. “Let me teach you one of the most important things you need to learn as we begin this season. When your coach asks you to do something, you do it, and you do it quickly. I said, ‘Everyone on the endline’ twice before all of you listened. That can’t and won’t happen again. I should only have to say things once. So, perhaps a lesson in listening to your coach can be best taught through sprints. We were going to do three sets of these, now we will be doing four.”

This lesson on the soccer field happened during our week of pre-season conditioning, when it is imperative to set the tone for the season. I believe in having a balance between discipline and love. I run a tight ship, but I am relentless in showing my girls love as well. It has worked wonders throughout the years, so I’ve gotten pretty good at maintaining the balance.

I hated having to teach the lesson for two reasons. One, I felt like a parent the first time disciplining her child. The second reason, however, defends unequivocally the ole saying, “This will hurt you more than it hurts me.”

See, I started the season with the crazy idea that I would run with the girls. After too many Christmas cookies, I told myself that running with my team would be a fantastic way to regain whatever physique I lost during the holidays.

Who was I kidding?

When I made that deal with myself, I never thought about the times when I would have to “teach lessons” and increase the reps of our sprints. So, there I was, with my quads burning, my side splitting, and my calves quivering.

But I made it. I didn’t die or faint or need oxygen. And more importantly I learned some lessons from my first few days of the soccer season.

Lesson No. 1: During a daunting task like a 2-mile run, for this middle-aged woman needing to lose some holiday pounds, the best thing to do was set micro goals. Just run to that next tree. Now get to that street sign. Before I knew it, the finish line was in sight.

Lesson No. 2: During those sprints, I ran shoulder to shoulder with my girls. I could literally feel their pain. What a lesson in true empathy we can learn from taking the time to run beside those around us.

Lesson No. 3: During our conditioning, we talked about “no pain, no gain” and what that meant for us as a team. After we caught our breath, I had more important words to share with them. I was compelled to reiterate the way in which a coach’s grace and mercy covers a multitude of mistakes. I told them I loved them; we stretched and went home.

There’s much to be said about the revelations that occur when you’re trying to keep up with teenagers on a soccer field. (But for my old body’s sake, I pray the next time they listen to me the first time.)

This story was originally published January 17, 2017 at 2:23 PM with the headline "The balance between discipline and love."