Stephanie Pedersen: Banning the word 'fat' in our house

My 5-year-old daughter has said it twice, and both times I've warned her we're not allowed to say that word. But both times I've wondered if she's heard it from my mouth.

"Fat."

I'm guilty. I know I've said it in front of her little ears, and she's probably stored it away as "Mommy thinks she's fat and that's a bad thing."

The first time my kindergartner said it was after a big meal at home. After having a son who refuses to eat most foods, I was blessed with a daughter who will eat pretty much anything.

So she pulled up her shirt, pushed out her tummy and called herself fat.

The second time was last week when she described someone as having a fat face.

It hurt me to hear it because I knew how she meant it. I knew that already in her short five years she was conscious of her looks and how people perceive women. I knew she already understood that she will be judged on her weight.

In five years she's seen enough on TV -- as well as hearing her mom complain about her weight and noticing how others act -- to form her own judgment of what it means to be "fat."

I should mention I've never heard my 7-year-old son say that word. That means my daughter is thinking about it, and my son isn't. Chew on that.

I could beat myself up about it, and it definitely stung to hear her say it. But let's not kid ourselves that we all constantly aren't at odds with our looks. I go to the gym because of a number of different reasons. Sure, it feels great to work out and have the sense of accomplishment when you're drenched in sweat and know you did your best.

But I also know I like the way my body changes when I consistently eat healthy and exercise.

But, fat?

She's only 5.

So, the word is banned. Her older brother even spelled it out for her. "We're not allowed to say F-A-T."

Here's my logic behind it: obesity is an issue in our country. But it isn't something we should degrade people for and, to me, that's what the word "fat" means. I want my daughter to see and love everyone for who they are and not what they look like. Using the word "fat" is judgmental and useless.

Instead, we should talk to our children about making healthy decisions and what that means for our bodies. My family drinks water because it's good for us. Do we occasionally have soda or tea at a restaurant? Sure. But incorporating healthy decisions earlier on will hopefully help my children make better decisions later in life.

And maybe better decisions will influence how we talk about ourselves and others.

Actress Jennifer Lawrence has been an active voice in Hollywood concerning body image issues and the pressure to be skinny.

"We have the ability to control this image that young girls are going to see," Lawrence said during "The Hunger Games" promotions. "They see enough of this body that they will never be able to obtain, and it's an amazing opportunity to rid ourselves of that in this industry."

I'm hoping we have an opportunity to remove it from our language, and I'm starting with one 5-year-old.

Contact Stephanie Pedersen, senior editor, at spedersen@ledger-enquirer.com.

This story was originally published September 23, 2015 at 10:25 PM with the headline "Stephanie Pedersen: Banning the word 'fat' in our house ."