Monday Mail: Man reports aliens hanging around school

A group of cybernetic creatures from the future have traveled back through time to enslave the human race, and it's Monday Mail.

Star crossed

Today's opening is from the 1996 film "Star Trek: First Contact."

UFO?

In the National UFO Network news comes a report someone in Augusta, Ga., saw a UFO, but the story was boring. So here's one from New Jersey:

Englishtown -- Taking my 11-year-old daughter to school at 7 a.m. on Oct. 14, I see this humongous metal black cigar shaped UFO just sitting there. I asked her, "Do you see that? She said no and ran into school. I signed her in and told the supervisor, "There is a 1,000 feet long UFO outside!" and what a look I got. Back outside it still is there in the same spot so I run to my car and grab the phone. It just disappears in a hole the clouds. I am disappointed but I have seen many UFOs in my life and had alien contact as a kid. I dreamed ET froze my entire family at a party and they took me for a trip.

Dear witness:

So when the aliens disembark, you should ask them, "Is that a 1,000-foot-long cigar, or are you just happy to be hanging around outside my daughter's school? I've alerted the staff, by the way, and I think they called 911."

Bad drivers

Here's an email from area native Steve Gordon in regard to last week's column on oblivious drivers:

Timmy:

Reading your column in today's Oct. 19, L-E.

Being that I drive here in a MUCH larger city, that being San Antonio, I share your grief and angst over poor driving. Not that I'm a perfect driver myself. We have that problem also. Here are my examples as noticed on the "Streets of San Antonio" (apologies to Karl Malden):

Texting, eating while driving (any activity which does not keep both hands on the wheel; I've personally seen drivers with one hand holding a taco and the other a phone).

Leaving L A R G E gaps between the vehicle in front of you and the vehicle in front of that one.

Speeding. Driving TOO SLOWLY in the fast lane on the freeway (usually some old person behind the wheel; no offense).

Using a large vehicle to block two (sometimes more) parking spaces; then again, this IS Texas.

DWI/DUI (this is a major problem here in Party City er, San Antonio).

From Columbus to San Antonio, NY to LA, bad driving is a national problem and disgrace. If we would just do the right thing and just steer clear of the bad drivers, maybe they'll see the light: the green light and GO before it changes to red.

Dear Steve:

"Usually some old person behind the wheel; no offense"? Who referenced Karl Malden?

Tim Chitwood, tchitwood@ledger-enquirer.com, 706-571-8508.

This story was originally published October 25, 2015 at 11:03 PM with the headline "Monday Mail: Man reports aliens hanging around school ."