I've encountered what seems like a lot of "false advertising" lately.
I'll start with anything related to a presidential hopeful. Surely there are earnest men and women somewhere under all that campaigning, but when they're on my TV set they are liable to say anything to sway a voter. They misrepresent themselves as often as they misrepresent their opponents. The debates have become my favorite new reality TV show, rather than an opportunity to really understand these candidates' platforms.
Then this awful blizzard is encouraging certain airlines to misrepresent their product. My sister was supposed to take a flight to New York on Saturday morning. Her airline, which only flies that route once daily, told her on Friday that the flight had been canceled, but that she should keep her seat because depending on how the weather progressed it might be "un-canceled." Huh? How does one keep a seat on a canceled flight? Sounds like they know that flight isn't taking off, but they don't want her to get a refund and try to take her money to another airline with multiple daily departures.
But I can't get too mad about keeping up a pretense. I do it on a daily basis. It's fun to imagine what my day would sound like if I kept it as real as I wish other folks would.
False: Yes, daughter, watching that YouTube video with you is exactly what I want to do to start my morning. How about you watch it first, then share it with me?
True: The thought of listening to that shrill-voiced cartoon before a cup of coffee is incomprehensible. No freaking way.
False: Hey theatre director, can we push our meeting back a few days? I've had this breakthrough with the script and I want to see it through before we meet.
True: I have been staring at the same page for days and everything I write on it sounds ridiculous. Maybe if I do this for a few more days, I'll actually have a breakthrough. Here's hoping!
False: What's for dinner, you ask? Well, husband, it's an eclectic take on mac and cheese. I think you'll like it.
True: I was watching "Chopped" when I started cooking and it emboldened
me to do some really odd things that seemed bold and daring, but were more likely stupid, and I used way more cheese than I will ever let on to cover up the miscellany of flavors. If you're really hungry, you'll never notice any of this.
False: Hey honey, since I cooked such an awesome dinner, would you make everyone's lunch for tomorrow? I'm going to bed early so I can get up before the kids and work out.
True: Hey, I'm going to bed early so I can get up at the normal time and forgo a workout, enjoying some extra sleep. Oh, and the lunch thing is just a bonus. You rock.
Yeah, you're probably right. A little false advertising never hurt anybody.
Natalia Naman Temesgen is an independent contractor. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org