Chris Johnson: An awful lot of frustration

There's a website out there called PeopleofWalmart.com where a lot of photos are posted of folks allegedly in Wal-Mart stores wearing crazy or inappropriate clothing or just looking trashy in general.

I suspect that some of these photos may not be legit and that others might actually be staged so that the subjects in the photos can get attention. Then again, I've seen a few folks at Wally World whom I wanted to take pictures of.

Granted, this is not a store I like to go in very often, but sometimes you just gotta bite your lip and save a dollar. I recently spotted a perfect Wally World photo opp when a senior citizen on one of those scooter shopping carts was checking out in an adjacent aisle. That in itself was not so unusual, but he was in a tank top and what appeared to be boxer shorts. Oh, he also had a massive purple mohawk that made him look like an 85-year-old radioactive cockatoo.

But it was outside in the parking lot where the excitement began. This cockatoo fella was riding this scooter shopping cart out to his car when he collided with a truck driven by another senior citizen.

I saw it happen, and they were equally at fault. Then they began exchanging words. The cockatoo yelled, "You trying to kill me, you #@amp;!?" and the other fella replied, "If I'd have wanted to kill you, I'd have #@amp;-ing killed you!" Those are direct quotes. It went on for a few minutes, and I'd have put an end to it if I hadn't been laughing so hard.

Of course, if they'd have actually come to blows, I'd have stepped in -- and probably wound up on PeopleofWalmart.com. Personally, I think they ought to have a website dedicated to folks in the parking lot because I see way more zaniness there than inside the store.

Most of what I see in store parking lots that bothers me is pure laziness.

For instance, there always are the perfectly healthy folks who drive around and around and cause mini-traffic jams as they search for a spot 10 feet closer to the store door. Some of these folks could have finished shopping in the time it takes to find such a space.

Then you've got the mopers. It bugs me to no end when I wave for a pedestrian to go ahead as I reassure them that I won't run them over as they're walking. Are they thankful? Of course not! They show their appreciation by walking even slower. Makes me rethink that whole part about not running them over.

Half of the open spaces are not really open because lazy folks left their shopping carts in the space even though the cart return is just about 20 feet away. This is something you don't see until the last second when you start to pull in then have to slam on brakes.

Another mini-traffic jam source is the guy who needs to back into a parking space, something that takes him an extra 60 seconds. He justifies this effort by pointing out that he'll be able to leave that space later 20 seconds faster than everybody else. I may have stunk at algebra, but at least I understand basic math.

Then there are the butt tossers. I've mentioned them 28 times before -- those lazy, selfish criminals who litter their cigarette butts everywhere. It particularly galls me to see their trash on beaches, sidewalks and golf courses, but this criminal activity seems even more forgiven in parking lots. That's almost as lazy as the folks who toss their butts on the sidewalk 2 feet from the ash tray as you walk into the store.

It's all enough to drive you crazy. Perhaps that explains the 85-year-old radioactive cockatoo.

-- Connect with Chris Johnson at kudzukid.com.

This story was originally published February 20, 2016 at 7:38 PM with the headline "Chris Johnson: An awful lot of frustration ."