The final debate before the insane election

Tomorrow night, finally, we’ll get to hear from the two main presidential candidates on the issues that matter to all of us Americans — like taxes, health care, energy policy and whom did Negan kill. (A lot of folks think it’s Glenn, but my money is on Sue Ellen’s scheming little sister.)

Of course, I’m joking. This election never has been about the issues, nor have the debates. That first Republican primary debate really set the tone when Fox News hosts grilled the then 47 remaining GOP contenders with questions like this for Dr. Ben Carson:

“Dr. Carson, you’ve said your favorite Syria is Lucky Charms and you’ve said Putin is inappropriate, especially in a crowded elevator. Don’t you think you’re a little too stupid to be president?”

I’m paraphrasing because I don’t remember the exact words. I just remember that the questions were brutal — and that was Fox. Republicans must’ve known that if they couldn’t get favorable treatment from Fox, it was going to be really bad when folks like CNBC got hold of them.

Every primary debate on both sides was ridiculous. Instead of asking questions like, “Are you concerned about the national debt, and, if so, what do you plan to do about it?,” the moderators have instead worked to create drama. “So, Sen. Paul, yesterday Gov. Christie called you a do-do head. He’s standing right next to you. Would you like to make a comment on his weight?”

“No, I’d like to talk about the Federal Reserve.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Your time is up. We do have 46 more candidates to get to.”

Now, the general election debates have pretty much consisted of whether Bill Clinton or Donald Trump’s behavior toward women is more sickening. Trump operatives have dug up old rumors to disparage Clinton, while Clinton operatives have dug up Trump’s actual words to disparage Trump.

Meanwhile debate commentators drag up old stories that have nothing to do with issues facing America today:

“Mr. Trump, isn’t it true that in 1964 you stepped on a crack and broke your mother’s back?”

I’m not waiting for this final debate or even for Nov. 8 for this election to be over. I can’t take it anymore. I’m voting today and will let the rest of y’all worry about it for a few more weeks. Your right-wing Uncle Joe can keep going into Benghazi rants, and your whiny liberal cousin from San Francisco will keep explaining to you why everything you think is funny is actually horribly offensive.

Not me. I’m casting my vote today. I’m voting for this election to be over. I’ve finally lived long enough to see propaganda and delusion trump journalism and understanding. Meanwhile, I’m hoping this is just a speed bump of stupidity that America has hit during this 2016 election.

Unfortunately, I fear it’s worse than that. I worry that America is careening into a Grand Canyon of stupidity. This election may not be about the issues, but it sure has revealed that America sure has some issues.

Connect with Chris Johnson at kudzukid.com.

This story was originally published October 17, 2016 at 6:49 PM with the headline "The final debate before the insane election."