I’m no ‘snowflake,’ but I now have a safe space nonetheless

I just finished building a little 8-by-10 addition to a shed at my home. It sits atop the hill that slopes downward from my house. It’s fairly open with a tin roof and a bar overlooking the woods and creek below. As a huge Parrothead (that’s a Jimmy Buffett fan for you uncultured folks), naturally I refer to this place as Margaritahill.

Now, when I say I built this place, you have to understand that I can’t build a birdhouse without a lot of help. What I really mean is I hammered and drilled where my 70-year-old dad who used to build houses for a living told me to. Occasionally, I attempted more challenging construction tasks such as reverting to my 8-year-old self and handing him things.

“Is this a t-square? How about this? Oh, that thingy!”

Between my Dad and my wife, it probably could have been done in a day, but my labor helped stretch this into a three-day project, and I believe the extra time will make it that much more sturdy. But the point is that it’s done now.

I did add some of the most important features, such as Georgia Bulldogs art, Buffett paraphernalia and a speaker so that I can introduce local wildlife to Parrotheadonism. On Saturday night, the local squirrels had their first tailgating experience while I grilled cheeseburgers in paradise.

This my safe place — not that I’m a “snowflake,” mind you, although the easily hurt and offended are about the only snowflakes we may ever see again in Georgia. As a newspaper columnist and a proud member of the “fake media,” you can’t really be a snowflake and share opinions that don’t always jibe with the pitchfork-toting masses.

When I walk into Margaritahill, I’m on vacation — at least in my mind. This means I get to go on vacation every weekend and most evenings. No longer do I have to board a cruise ship bound for the Caribbean to get away from it all.

One of the things I love about cruising is that you can truly separate yourself from normal life. I generally put my phone up for a whole week during a cruise. No political battles on Facebook. No automated phone calls from my insurance carrier. No news alerts buzzing with what used to be reports like “Earthquake strikes Pakistan,” but now simply read, “Guess what Trump did today.”

And so it shall be with Margaritahill. I have a pretty equal amount of friends on the left and right, religious and not, Buffett fans and the unreached. Ye all will be welcome at Margaritahill … provided we avoid talking about a few subjects.

Off-limits subjects shall include President Trump, Obamacare, alternative facts, fake news, the EPA, the nuclear triad, gerrymandering, CNN, Fox News, Kim Jong Un, South China Sea, ISIS, immigration, tax reform, software programs, NATO, gun control, Social Security or anything remotely Kardashian.

However, it’s perfectly acceptable to talk about the Georgia Bulldogs, how to make the perfect margarita, fishing, kayaking, golf, football, the weather (not that “fake news” climate change stuff, mind you), guitars, great movies (like “Smokey and the Bandit”), charcoal, meat and old (also probably “fake”) stories about crazy Uncle Joe.

Of course, if you peruse social media these days, it’s unlikely that anyone can avoid any of Margaritahill’s off-limits topics, meaning that I may not have a lot of company. And as far as this loner’s concerned, that’s also quite all right.

This story was originally published February 20, 2017 at 1:59 PM with the headline "I’m no ‘snowflake,’ but I now have a safe space nonetheless."