He’s now more than a rapper. He’s Mr. Christian Genius Billionaire
The world is fairly divided over many things, including a rapper named — at least for now — Kanye West. There are those who appreciate his “music” and there are those that can hear. As someone who can still hear, I’m definitely not a fan.
For a long time, most conservative white folks could not imagine embracing anything about Kanye West. This was, after all, a guy who not only compared himself to Jesus because of his outstanding ability to rhyme, almost accidentally melodically on occasion, and appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone in 2006 with a crown of thorns.
Then he began to evolve into, well, I’m not sure what. Recently, he became a Trumper and was even granted an audience with President Trump in the Oval Office, where West said, um, well we’re not exactly what he said because it was as incoherent as one of his songs. “He said some nice things about me,” is what Trump seemed to glean from the conversation, and, as we all know, that’s all that matters whether you are a rapper or a rogue dictator.
But with 40% of Americans behind the president even if he advocates for the killing of cute puppies in the middle of Fifth Avenue, a lot of conservative white folks began to think, “Hey, this Kanye guy seems pretty sharp. Maybe I should give his music a chance.”
Then they realized that that (1) there are no Kanye West tapes in their 8-track collection, and (2) when they finally found a “Yeezus” CD and it burned their ears. Nope, they still couldn’t go all in on Kanye.
Kanye, though, pulled the Trump card, so to speak, by dedicating his life — for now — to Jesus. I don’t mean the feed-the-hungry, clothe-the-naked, visit-the-prisoner, heal-the-sick, don’t-judge-anyone Jesus that’s in the Bible. No, I mean the there-might-be-good-money-in-this-thing American Jesus.
Yep, Kanye has gone Gospel. Conservatives are flooding Facebook feeds with praise for how Jesus has finally reached this man and is working through him. His new Gospel album “Jesus Is King” soared straight to the top of the Billboard charts.
This move to follow Jesus instead of the Kardashians might be pure genius on his part, and it just might make him a billionaire. Hmm, maybe that’s why he kinda sorta floated the idea this past week of legally changing his name to Christian Genius Billionaire Kanye West. I guess that way he could say Billionaire is his middle name.
Most folks, including me, suspect that he’s just saying this for attention, but this is a guy who named one of his kids North and once publicly shamed an audience member for not standing at one of his concerts — a paraplegic audience member.
Still, I’d suggest to Mr. West that he not change his name. If you’re really a Christian, you won’t have to tell anyone because they’ll know through your actions.
And if you’re really a genius, well, it’s obvious that the bar has been lowered for that one since the days of Einstein. In fact, there are so many geniuses running around nowadays that you have to note what kind of genius you are, such as “a very stable genius.” You can even become a genius by taking a Facebook quiz titled something like “Only someone with a genius IQ can find the W in this puzzle.” In today’s world, you’d have to be pretty stupid to not be a genius.
As for being a billionaire, he might very well be one. He says he’s one. And if he says he’s a billionaire, the only way I’d know for sure would be to see his tax returns. And lying about being a billionaire wouldn’t be a very Christian thing to do.
Of course, that’s just this genius thousandaire’s opinion. I found the W, by the way, so I’m officially a genius, albeit a slightly unstable one.
Get more from Chris Johnson at KudzuKid.com.