Chris Johnson: God puts smackdown on high school football team
I’m not sure how many high school football games I’ve covered since I first climbed into a rickety press box more than a quarter-century ago, but it’s safe to say it’s somewhere in the area of “a lot.”
And I’ve written before about my love for football. High school football. College football. Pro football. Two-on-two backyard football. Even that game we used to play in junior high school when we’d thump a little paper triangle across the table in home economics. (The teacher was trying to teach us to sew, and we thought that was a little too sissy for us; she thought we were a little too obnoxious to pass us.)
Over those years of covering high school football, I heard a lot of bland quotes from coaches and a lot of cliches. Not that I blamed them. You can’t say what you really want to say as a high school football coach.
“Yeah, we ought to slaughter Tinkman County next week with that tortoise they’ve got at running back.”
No, you’ll never hear anything like that. It’s all, “play em one game at a time,” “if we don’t turn the ball over, we’ve got a chance” and the always popular baloney about what a great team the other squad is: “They’re well-coached and have a lot of talent, so we’re gonna have to play our best game to beat them.”
But recently I picked up a newspaper in middle Georgia, and they quoted a coach saying something about a 39-0 victory that absolutely shocked me for its sheer audacity:
“I just praise God that our kids played good and thank God for the shutout,” was his exact quote.
Now, if you want to thank God you won, that’s one thing. It’s one stupid thing to think God cares whether you win or lose a football game, but I can let it slide. If you want to thank God none of your players were injured, that’s admirable. I remember one team I covered many years ago had a pregame prayer on the public address system at its home games and would close with: “And may the losing team have a safe trip home.” Again, I doubt God picks winners and losers on the football field, but they get points for cleverness.
But to thank God for a shutout? What position did God play for your defense? Strong safety? Does He even live in your district? And isn’t He a little old to be playing high school football?
Or are you saying that God wanted that other team to be held to zero points? That God wanted those teenage boys who’ve been working in the Georgia heat the past couple of months — likely just as hard as the boys you lead — to be humiliated?
Perhaps you suffer from that very American form of Christianity, the narcissistic kind where the focus is on how your faith benefits you. The kind that believes prayer should be a public show. The kind that believes you are to be wealthy. Basically, the kind of Christian who ignores what Jesus is quoted as saying about all those things. You’re who Gandhi was talking about when he said: “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”
Again, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t get involved in the outcomes of football games — well, except that tipped pass that helped Auburn beat Georgia a few years ago. Oh, and that missed field goal that helped Auburn beat Alabama a couple of years ago. OK, I guess God did get involved in a few Auburn games, but obviously He’s out of that business now.
As for that coach, he should reconsider whether God wants his team’s opponents humbled with shutouts. He might even want to consider trying a little humility himself. Since he’s so focused on mixing religion with sports, he might want to take a closer look at what his religion is all about.
Or, at least, what it’s supposed to be.
Connect with Chris Johnson at Facebook.com/KudzuKidWriting or email kudzukid88@gmail.com.
This story was originally published October 3, 2015 at 11:10 PM with the headline "Chris Johnson: God puts smackdown on high school football team."