Unfortunately, some trees don’t make the cut

Some people want a nice expansive lawn and perhaps a lot of open spaces in the backyard where the kids can run, fly kites and shoot bottle rockets at low-flying aircraft — you know, good old-fashioned fun.

But I want trees in my backyard. A lot of ‘em. My last house had two or three tiny fruit trees we planted out back. The next house will have a hillside full of oaks, dogwoods and pines with a lush forest behind that. When we picked out a spot for the house, we kept as many trees as possible.

Unfortunately, one decided to turn brown on us and had to go. We don’t have any racism against trees, but we prefer the ones with green leaves in the summer, not brown. It was not only close to the house, but it was learning toward it, as well. When we cut it down last Sunday, we saw that while it appeared solid on the outside, it was completely hollow on the inside — kinda like your average American politician.

I hate to see even a dead tree go. Sure, I’ve had a few negative experiences with trees over the years. I’ve picked up my share of pine limbs after ice storms and netted leaves out of a pool. Fallen trees have knocked out my power. Once, straight-line winds roaring through Columbus felled a tall pine in my backyard and it landed just a few feet from my new neighbors’ patio, where they were grilling. That’s how a met them.

“Hi, I’m Chris. Welcome to the neighborhood. Sorry I almost killed your Grandpa.”

All in all, though, trees are good things. I’m glad the great state of Georgia looks so much greener than most of the other states I’ve seen from windows of airplanes. We’ve got an awful lot of trees despite the almost daily scenes of log trucks and rail cars full of logs.

Trees provide homes for animals like birds, fox squirrels and Gary Busey.

Trees have the power to turn an old tire into a useful swing.

Trees provide sorely needed shade as our summers get hotter and hotter.

Trees provided a great hiding spot when my next-door neighbors decided to play Chase and Torture The Younger Kids in the Neighborhood. I still recall sitting high in a tree with a buddy of mine and hearing my friend Shane hollering after my neighbors caught him, tied him to a chair and threatened to throw him into the pool if we didn’t turn ourselves in. (“Did you hear that?” “Nope, I didn’t hear Shane hollering for us to save him!”)

Trees provide switches for grandparents and Vikings running backs who still believe in that kind of discipline. When my grandma sent me out of the house to get a switch, I made sure I kept looking for one until she forgot she’d sent me after one. I suspect we both considered that a victory.

Trees make some of the best places to build treehouses; groundhouses just don’t sound like nearly as much fun and you can’t ban girls from groundhouses.

Speaking of girls, it was almost impossible to peek in Lurline Lawhorn’s second-story bedroom window without climbing a few branches of that magnolia between our houses.

I also carved CJ loves LL into that tree, and she carved a restraining order under that — although I’m not sure it was legally binding.

This story was originally published July 16, 2016 at 8:40 PM with the headline "Unfortunately, some trees don’t make the cut."