Are you worried about the growing national debt? Concerned about record high temperatures in the Arctic and melting sea ice? Are you a corporation tired of pandering politicians twisting your arm to make you provide special favors to their favored interests?
Are you weary of constant states of war? Are you more than a little concerned that Vladimir Putin is taking his efforts to film “War Games 2” too far? Tired of religious extremism being tolerated, if not facilitated? Tired of Georgia politicians jockeying for the coveted position of the one who hates homosexuals the most?
“Republican gubernatorial candidate Brian Snodgrass says he hates gays. But Casey Hayseed really, really hates gays and doesn't care about Amazon or Georgia's film industry. He suspects they might even bring more gays. Vote Hayseed 2018. I'm Casey Hayseed, and I approved this here message.”
I worry about a lot of stuff, but I'm not locked in a closet and curled up in the fetal position. We've been worried about stuff my whole life — the Cold War, AIDS, drugs, whether sitting too close to the TV will make you go blind, the ozone hole, etc.
And folks worried about stuff before me — World War I and II, Communism, slavery, rock 'n' roll, Lenny Bruce, Martin Luther, dinosaur-killing asteroids, etc.
What I'm trying to say is we didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been turning. No, wait, I wasn't trying to say that — Billy Joel was trying to say that.
Why am I not curled up in the fetal position worried about all this stuff? Because at some point the people who've screwed up the world will be replaced by the people who want to fix it.
But, hold up just a second, you warn! Yes, you did. I heard you. Aren't the young folks of today the same ones who are snap-tweet-booking about the Kardashians while they chew on their Tide Pods? (Now in new winter spruce flavor, er, I mean scent!)
Yes, somewhere is a kid doing that very thing. Fox sends Jesse Waters out to find dumb young folks to reinforce those stereotypes, much the same way Jay Leno used to find all ages of dumb folks for his “Jaywalking” segments to show how dumb we all are. But anybody can go out and cherry-pick and selectively edit to pick out the dumbest of the dumb.
Hey, Gladys! Check out these dumb kids Jesse's talking to on Fox! Oh, and bring my mask. I just seen a jet and I hear them chemtrails got gay dust in 'em this year!”
However, the recent shootings in Parkland, Florida, have brought out so many articulate young folks passionate about improving the world that it gives me hope. Sure, they may be the cream of the crop at their school, but they seem far more intelligent and have way more integrity than the folks in our state and national capitol buildings.
This week, my family and a few friends are hosting eight college kids from Ohio's Wittenberg University who are helping a family in need replace a roof. It's their spring break, and they're using it better than I did. They are working through a Christian housing ministry. (That's right, y'all — sometimes Christians do stuff, good stuff.)
They're also bright, articulate kids. The Parkland kids give me hope. These Ohio kids give me hope. My kids give me hope. If you look past the .0001 percent chewing on Tide Pods, kids will give you hope, too, unless you've already been corrupted by cynicism.
And, yes, until we keep money from permeating American politics, some of their souls may be bought, too, just like many in the current crop of American leaders. But, right now, they're our best hope.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got go see if these hard-working kids tearing off that old roof need any help. If they ask for any Tide Pods for snacks, I'll be sure to revoke this column.
Connect with Chris Johnson at KudzuKid.com.